Governor Blagojevich,
In the (new) tradition set by Caroline Kennedy, I hereby toss my hat in the ring to be considered for the Senate seat so recently vacated by our Messiah-Elect Barack Hussein Obama. There are many advantages to choosing me over other candidates, so please let me point them out to you:
1) My father was born in Illinois, so I have some roots there.
2) I worked in Illinois (right near O'Hare Airport) for about 18 months from 1998 to 2000. I haven't been back since. This is actually a blessing in that I do not currently have any interest in any current issues in Illinois. This should allow me to be completely impartial in how I handle those issues.
3) I don't have a lot of money, so there would be no question that I "bought" the seat from you.
4) I don't have any rich friends, so they can't buy it for me either.
5) With the exception of my new found realization regarding your in-the-closet capitalism (see post of 12/17/08), you and I do not agree on any political issues, which would preclude any questions about furthering some political goal you have.
6) I'm opinionated and willing to share. Everyone would know exactly where they stood with me.
7) I have absolutely no experience in Government (much like Mrs. Kennedy-Schlossberg), and therefore might be more qualified than one of the current crop of political hacks.
8) "The Blues Brothers" is one of my favorite movies. And I really liked "The Untouchables," too.
So please consider me for the post. I think this could be a real win-win for both of us.
-(Maybe someday Senator) Paul
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