Monday, January 12, 2009

"I'd Rather Be Waterboarding!"

I'd like to say a few words to the weak-kneed folks who are about to be administering our foreign policy as soon as the Messiah-Elect is sworn in - "Don't Do it!"

Which "It" am I referring to? Weakening this country and making it easier and much, much more likely we will be attacked by Al Queda Terrorists in the coming months.

How will this happen? By banning so-called "harsh" interrogation techniques, by gutting the provisions of the Patriot Act, and by treating Terrorists as simple criminals instead of foreign enemy fighters and spies in a time of war. Please allow me to explain.

Harsh Interrogation

The following activities are considered "harsh" interrogation and are slated to be banned as of a week from tomorrow:

Preventing captive from sleeping for an extended period (beyond 12 hours up to more than 48 hours) - which means that anyone studying for final exams at any real institution by cramming for the last 2-4 days is actually subject to "harsh" treatment...think they could sue for damages?

Loud "inappropriate" music - for this they mean Metallica, AC/DC, and other Heavy Metal Bands - I would suggest subjecting me to Rap Music (remember, the "C" in Rap is silent) in a neighboring car is worse. Or when I'm driving with my wife and she makes me listen to the station with the "Smooth Sounds of the Seventies" which always puts me at the brink of suicide...If we can't use Metal, how about subjecting these bozos to that last Madonna album?

Public Humiliation (aka Abu Ghrab) - subjecting prisoners to humiliating and degrading situations, especially involving women in positions of power over them. So that would make the average Fraternity Hazing into torture...or having to work for that last female boss I had (the ultra-feminist who wouldn't know a good idea if it crawled up her...).

Other psychological torture techniques as typified by my favorite "Waterboarding." Something you lefties don't realize is that anyone who is involved in administering that particular activity has actually been subjected to it themselves - its part of the training. This, I'm sure, keeps people from choosing to do it to everyone, and also helps them know when "enough is enough." That particular method successfully broke Khalid Sheik Mohammed in under 2 minutes. It is not physically damaging. If its psychologically damaging, please remember that these are TERRORISTS and they were planning on KILLING PEOPLE.

Club Gitmo - keeping the enemy combatants off our home shores. Why in God's Name would you want them here? If they got loose, who know's what they might do? Those prisoners are being treated far better than they have a right to expect. Oh, and all this talk about "shutting down Gitmo" forgets the fact that we have a base there that has been there for near 100 years, keeping an eye on Cuba since 1959, and it is not related to the prison camp. I was there (as a kid), and its a vital part of our defenses. We need that base. So please be more accurate and at least carp about the "prisoner facility" at Gitmo...or Limbaugh's term "Club Gitmo."

Tomorrow I'll post about the Patriot Act, and the misconceptions there. And Wednesday I'll talk more about the difference in treating a Terrorist like a criminal instead of a Foreign Enemy Combatant. In the meantime, please go to and buy a "I'd Rather Be Waterboarding" shirt like I did...wear it around your Lefty friends and watch their head explode...:D (oh, and please tell them where you heard about this, and suggest they talk to me about an ad on my Blog...:D).


  1. Question. If Weatherboarding isn't such a big deal is it okay if I Waterboard you? How is simulated drowning not torture? Do you conservatives only care about the Constitution if it involves the second amendment?

  2. Well, if I was caught on a battlefield shooting at the U.S. while not wearing a uniform or any way to be identified as a member of some kind of organized military force, then yes you could waterboard me. Please realize that A) they were caught attacking OUR soldiers on a FOREIGN battlefield, B) the Constitution does not apply to "foreign enemy combatants", C) the Geneva Convention does not apply to individuals captured on a battlefield who are not in uniform (those people are considered spies and can be shot out of hand), D) waterboarding is done to Navy Seals as part of their training...if it was so damaging, they would not be able to perform their duties, & E) all those individuals are owed is a bullet to the head.

    I care about the Constitution from the beginning to the end. I suspect that I know it better than you. I would be willing to bet that you probably don't even realize how much of what our government currently does that VIOLATES the Constitution...although I think you likely like those things as they are nice progressive programs instituted by people like FDR & LBJ.